Pie: 2 Types

Once my little lad gets his brain out of the sand methinks we'll have two authors working on this. I've had a bunch of petit thoughts lately (seems my brain capacity can't handle larger things) so here are some tid-bits from my brain:

The first item up today is something I've been dwelling on for an entire thirty seconds. You see, there was this vocal little asshole flying around my head (no, not my sister): a mosquito. And if you're anyone who knows anything about me, you'll know that I don't kill bugs. But if you know anything else about me, you'll know that I am a mosquito magnet and my bites swell up to the size of quarters on average. You can imagine this is quite a situation for me. So I just let the little fucker fly around and hoped he'd wander into another room or something. But no. Persistent. So I was given no choice but to squash him with a tissue box. And as his dead mangled body fell to the ground I thought, hopefully the dogs will eat him because I'm not pickin' that shit up. But now I feel SO guilty. Like, I just killed something. And yes, my room may be called the Death Chamber but that doesn't really mean anyone has to die! I also just referred to a mosquito as a "someone." Hm.

Secondly we have the 'ol: Holy fuck I've gotten fat. If the notorious "freshman 15" (which is very accurate) were to be divided into a personal pie chart, the pie would be: 10% of the tubbyness went to my hips, 15% to my belly, 2% to my chin and 73% to my tits. Not bad. Then I ate the pie.

This came to my mind today when I brought a pair of shorts I hadn't worn since last summer to work with me so I could bear (is that the correct homonym?) the heat walking home. Well... let's just say I ended up walking home in my uniform. Long black pants woo. Tubbyness = 1, Camille's comfort = 0. But seriously, I'm still damn fine.

Okay it is the next day and I have more to say. Sick poem. This is why I'm awesome right now:

1) Baked

2) On my roof

3) With my sis

4) And an entire fucking pie

5) And with my laptop.

AMAZING NEWS FOR MYSELF! (and all you other lucky buggers ;) )! I bought $160 worth of panties today for $20! Yes'm that's 20 pairs of pant-ehz. Yes so when I got home from my amazing La Vie En Rose adventure, I was talking to my mum saying "zomg I saved $140 and I'm such a materialistic little shit and always spend too much so YAY for saving" and she told me of this hilarious thing her girlfriend came up with when she was my age (this is on the topic of panties btw... my brain is a wee bit allovadaplace right now). When you go out with a guy, you wear extremely ugly underwear and then you'll give yourself the pretend willpower to not sleep with him. Because you'll be too scared like omg these underwearz are so fugly that I look like m'gramma and therefore will lead to a substandard performance on my behalf. Yea. Groovy.

Ugly underwear = anitslut.

Oh, my friend Ben and I were discussing the history of the pencil, and he showed me this hilarious (yet factual!?) little piece of information. Check out the dude who patented the eraser-attached-to-the-pencil. Fuckin' eh! That's entertaining.

Anywho I'm going to watch Super Troopers with m'sis. Can't wait to see Reefer Madness... looks priceless.

CIAO POLLOS

-Xesetarip