Things to know about Sean:
1) He is from the repulsive city of Oshawa, but since he's just past Townline I still talk to him and don't look down on him. Well I mean I look down on him a little but not as much as the other Oshawians.
2) He texts and drives and is therefore an asshole. But he has promised not to do it when I'm in the car so I don't die :)
3) He owes me a painting of an elf/dwarf/gnome smoking an oversized pipe. EH HEM!
4) Part alien. Part woman. Part man. Mayyybe part Hitler. And definitely part Einstein since his dad looks exactly the same.
5) Can't afford to visit me and therefore I am sad.
6) He can't spell "semen" or "sea men"... he spells both "seman"
7) He's a real mawfuckin' G. Click for proof.
I remember he once said to me: "You're so strange; it's awesome" and that was my favourite compliment ever.
He also gives the best advice. Like, when I asked him "What should I drink tonight?" [specifying that I didn't want to be sick] this is what he said:
Man. Drink some champagne, suck some dick to coat your stomach in semen, then be a man and drink some liquor straight... smoke some drugs here and there, and you'll be fine!
And since I wrote that last night, I will tell you that the 'seman' worked well in coating my stomach and I had non-sick evening.
On a serious note, Sean (inconspicuously called Izanrelur) basically kept me sane all summer and now we are far away (which is sad, okay?!)
He's making video games and other shit on ugly ass PCs at ugly ass Durham College and I get to use sexy Macs at ugly ass Ryerson.
I really just want someone to head bang with.
And I miss having our little heart-to-hearts that are top secret but still: fantastic. And there are some depressing songs on iTunes and I'm like, yo, g, this song sucks, and he's like, yeah, true. And that's what friends are for ya dig?
So Sean is my best friend in the whole world and also my alien twin and life advisor. Oh and fitness instructor. Pretty much a whole lot of things.
And like, he drew one of my tattoos (which the artist fucked up but I'mma get it fixed) and he's building a time machine because I really want to meet a dinosaur and he pwns me at Photoshop.
Semifiction time:
So Ice Water Man was walkin around Durham College going "holy shit this place is gay" and then out of nowhere this man in spandex comes running out of the draw/sketch-naked-people room with an evident boner. Now, IWM's initial thought was the obvious: I have to throw ice water on this dude, to induce major shrinkage! So he got his glass of ice water ready, and was just about to throw it when he noticed a bottle of water in Mr. Spandex's hand.
His eyes welled up and said, "how could you Sean? I thought we were friends. And also, why the fuck are you wearing spandex to class?"
Sean replied, "I got them at Lululemon and therefore they're fashionable, duuuuh. Sorry, I know you're a TNA kinda guy--"
"No you twat I meant you're a traitor. Using bottled water when I'm right here. You know that water ain't gonna fix your boner."
"Sorry," Sean said, "It was just so convenient. Forgive me?"
"Will you do it again, asshole?" Ice Water Man asked.
"Probably." Sean said.
"I admire your honesty. Let's get high?" Ice Water Man eagerly stated, as he lovingly poured ice cold water all over Sean's crotch.
"Yes." Sean answered. And they strolled off hand in hand to live happily ever after in a green forest of gnomes and unicorns and scary men who look like Kirby.
So Sean, I hope you're happy with this. I know I could've done more but you know how lazy I am. You da man brah. Wez be talkin like muhfuckin gs no frontin no hatin word? Yeeee throw me some beatz.
Love,
me ^
me L
Camille.
I remember he once said to me: "You're so strange; it's awesome" and that was my favourite compliment ever.He also gives the best advice. Like, when I asked him "What should I drink tonight?" [specifying that I didn't want to be sick] this is what he said:
Man. Drink some champagne, suck some dick to coat your stomach in semen, then be a man and drink some liquor straight... smoke some drugs here and there, and you'll be fine!
And since I wrote that last night, I will tell you that the 'seman' worked well in coating my stomach and I had non-sick evening.
On a serious note, Sean (inconspicuously called Izanrelur) basically kept me sane all summer and now we are far away (which is sad, okay?!)
He's making video games and other shit on ugly ass PCs at ugly ass Durham College and I get to use sexy Macs at ugly ass Ryerson.
I really just want someone to head bang with.
And I miss having our little heart-to-hearts that are top secret but still: fantastic. And there are some depressing songs on iTunes and I'm like, yo, g, this song sucks, and he's like, yeah, true. And that's what friends are for ya dig?
So Sean is my best friend in the whole world and also my alien twin and life advisor. Oh and fitness instructor. Pretty much a whole lot of things.
And like, he drew one of my tattoos (which the artist fucked up but I'mma get it fixed) and he's building a time machine because I really want to meet a dinosaur and he pwns me at Photoshop.
Semifiction time:
So Ice Water Man was walkin around Durham College going "holy shit this place is gay" and then out of nowhere this man in spandex comes running out of the draw/sketch-naked-people room with an evident boner. Now, IWM's initial thought was the obvious: I have to throw ice water on this dude, to induce major shrinkage! So he got his glass of ice water ready, and was just about to throw it when he noticed a bottle of water in Mr. Spandex's hand.
His eyes welled up and said, "how could you Sean? I thought we were friends. And also, why the fuck are you wearing spandex to class?"
Sean replied, "I got them at Lululemon and therefore they're fashionable, duuuuh. Sorry, I know you're a TNA kinda guy--"
"No you twat I meant you're a traitor. Using bottled water when I'm right here. You know that water ain't gonna fix your boner."
"Sorry," Sean said, "It was just so convenient. Forgive me?"
"Will you do it again, asshole?" Ice Water Man asked.
"Probably." Sean said.
"I admire your honesty. Let's get high?" Ice Water Man eagerly stated, as he lovingly poured ice cold water all over Sean's crotch.
"Yes." Sean answered. And they strolled off hand in hand to live happily ever after in a green forest of gnomes and unicorns and scary men who look like Kirby.
So Sean, I hope you're happy with this. I know I could've done more but you know how lazy I am. You da man brah. Wez be talkin like muhfuckin gs no frontin no hatin word? Yeeee throw me some beatz.
Love,
me ^
me L
Camille.
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