Alien Super DUEL

Our collaborative blog post for October was a little delayed, but is finally here. We have staged a photographic fight to the death. Izanrelur vs. Xesetarip; alien powers and weapons galore! One of us took the "look I'm an art student see what I can do with a DSLR oooh la la look at these angles" approach, and the other took a "I'm poor and lazy but at least I have Photoshop... can we get drunk now?" approach. Very evident. Here is the story:

Xesetarip was busy applying lipstick when Izanrelur walked in to the room with a very angry presence. "Why the fuck are you dressed like that? Oh shit! Is today the day we're having a duel!?!"

Rivalries have always been something siblings from all over can relate to, but the rivalries between the siblings on planet Jiangyin can sometimes result in death! "The reason I'm dressed like this is that I recently got into a car accident, and seeing as we have trouble breathing oxygen as is, my oxygen in-taker was damaged and I need to wear it to survive."

Well my dear brother, what do you say we commence then?" Xesetarip said as she whipped her musket from behind her back. "Look what I got motha fucka!!!!!"

"I present my home made axe to finish what I started."

"I'd like to see you try against my phallic spatula!" She whacked him a few times.

Izanrelur appeared to be unaffected by the spatula.

"Okay mother fucker! HOW ABOUT I CUT YOUR DICK OFF?!"

"Hahaha, your little amateur kitchen utensils have no effect over me. I've been operated on and rebuilt stronger than ever. Even the sharpest of sharp scissors couldn't cut through my alien skin."

"That's it, you've pissed me off! EAT FLAMES BITCH!"

'Argh! Too bad it barely had any affect! Now get ready for a broken leg!'

"Not if I shoot you first! Go Bullet Bill!" *bang bang*

"Too bad all it takes is *swing, swing* and Bullet Bill goes bye bye! You're in for one now sis! See you in hell!"

"What if I... seduce you?"

"Incest is Wincest! But Your-cest is Grossest! DIE!!!!" *clobbers with axe*

"You can defeat one of me, but you can't defeat all of my SPAWN!!!" *duplicates*

"Oh god! You're lucky the accident caused me to lose my powers! But I was given the option to go light speed!" *Rapidly attacks Xesetarip's clones*

"Damn it! That was fast! At least I still have my powers. SUCK MY LASER BEAM, ASSHOLE!"

"They have no chance hurting me! I'll just use my helmet to reflect the beam and send it back to you!"

"Gah my retinas! It's okay, I'm immune. You should know this by now, you had your powers long enough. Peace brother? I offer you this teriyaki sauce in the name of peace!"

"You were always the weaker one sister. There shall be peace once more, until we fight again. Thank you for this offering also." *dips finger in sauce and tastes it* "NOOOO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!! AGHH!!

"You're calling ME weak!? Dumb ass, it was obviously poisoned! And now you must die. I will finish you off with my giant black dildo from hell!"

"AGH!!!! WHY! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO END THIS WAY! THE PROPHECY SAID I WAS GOING TO WIN! -- FUCK -- *sighs* But I really should thank you after all. It was your life that taught me the purpose of all life... The purpose of life is to end and tonight... is mine. Goodbye sister!"

Xesetarip began to tear up upon realizing she had actually killed her beloved alien twin. "Izanrelur I'm so sor--"

Bearded Kirby returned from this blog and punched each of the twins in the gut "I'm back mothafuckasssss"

"It appears today is the day I die too, brother. See you in hell!"

"See you in ... hell... mother... fucke...r" Izanrelur said with his last breath.

Kirby inhaled, and the twins found themselves yet again inside his stomach.

"HA pwn'd!" Kirby said as he rinsed their bodies down with a glass of water.