3.27.2011

The Time We Went Back In Time (Part 2)


If you missed it, click here for part one! If you didn't miss it, enjoy part 2:

When the twins came into consciousness, they were able to see where the strange hippies were holding them captive. When they opened their eyes they saw they were in an office that had framed photos of what appeared to be oversized iPhones all over the wall.

Xesetarip looked over at Izanrelur: "Hey! Bro!... where are we?!" But he appeared to be sleeping so she looked around the room to see if there was anything she could use to get him to wake up. On the wall there was a shelf with what seemed to be iPods all over it as well as very primitive iPhone. Xes began to hobble over towards it, but she noticed she was tied to a chair with her hands behind her back making any movement a rather tough task. She hobbled over and finally she reached it. She used her chin to hit the shelf and knocked one of the iPods off. It fell and shattered over her brother’s head. Startled he screamed and fell over in his chair. He was gasping for breath because the shock almost caused him to have a stroke; he regained consciousness and began to feel the pain of shattered-iPod-to-the-head.

We hired a better artist to sketch this time.

"Fuck! where the FUCK are we! FUCKK! my shoulder fucking hurts! What the fuck is going on, "He looked around "when the fuck did we get back to the future!?" Just as he finished his little tantrum, the door opened and a silhouette of a man in a suit filled the doorway.

"Haw haw haw" said the man in the door. He said it quite articulately too... like just the way it's written. The twins could tell immediately this was a peculiar fellow. "You, sonny, on the guhround thereuh. You are ah poooouuusssy!" Suddenly a small leprechaun with orange feet and a crooked smile and outrageously unbearable odour started dancing. He had backwards knees. "What a funny thing to observe" Xes said to her brother who had finally stopped crying.

Whipping (no, not wiping, actually whipping) his tears away, he managed to get up off the ground. He grunted to try to hide the sobbing that he was previously doing. Dazed and confused still and thinking he was still on drugs, he started laughing at the leprechaun. "What the fuck is going on?" He kept giggling. It went on for like 5 minutes until he snapped out of it:"Heeeeey how'd we get back here?! Where's the machine!?" he yelled at the man standing in the doorway. The man strolled in kind of like this and answered, "I'um verrreh sorreh too telluh you thatuh I have no Ideauh what you'reeh talkingge about." As he got closer it became obvious to Izan that he was dressed up in 1960's gear. "We're still here!...wait...iPhones?....what the fuck?!" .

“I hate to sound like a broad, but um… what?” Xes asked her brother in a ridiculously Barbie doll tone that would agitate even Paris Hilton.

Xesetarip if she were a Barbie doll?

“Be quiet and play with the leprechaun. Now, mister funnyaccentman, what year is it?”
The man in the suit replied, “it isuh 1969. And pleasuh, call me Kristopher Clarence Ignatius Douglass.”
“Is that your name!?” Izan asked.
“No,” the man claiming to be Kristopher Clarence Ignatius Douglass replied with a smirk on his face parallel to our favourite meme:
"Problem?"

"Then what is your name!?" Izan asked him while still laying on the ground.
"Oh you will find out in time. Now you should get some rest we have a big day ahead of us tomorrow". The man exited the room and the tiny leprechaun followed.
"Oh man what do we do now!?" Xes whimpered in the corner.
"Hey man, we'll get to the bottom of this, but I think he's right we should rest.." Izan tried to comfort her..."At least one thing turned out better than expected, the little imp thing undid my handcuffs!"

“Yeah he undid mine too. What a nice little lad.” Izan got up and sat beside his sister. They sat in silence for a moment, mostly from total shock, and then Xes picked up the oversized mysterious piece of technology. “So, this is 1969, and yet they have these hefty iPhones. Maybe I’ll use it to call home ahahah—“
“Haw haw haw, youh can try but youh will failuh” said the man who randomly appeared out of nowhere whose name is not Kristopher Clarence Ignatius Douglass.
“Yeah you fuck, your mom was like nine years old, our present doesn’t exist yet!” Izan smart-ass-ly noted.
“Haw haw haw but reallyuh, that is not a phoneuh!”
“Well then, what on earth is it!?” Xes asked in a voice that sounded like a dirty dubstep drop.
“I don’t uhnderstand that.”
“Sorry, my sister was speaking our native language. She said ‘what be dat ting?’” Izan assisted.
“Welluh, this here is Microsoft’s newest inventionuh. They have cuhreated a line of tablet computers designeduh, developeduh and marketeduh by Microsoft puhrimarily as a platformuh for audio-visual media incuhluding books, periodicals, moviesuh, music, gamesuh, and web content.”

Izan stood up all flustered and said, "ok, shut up, this is like an iPhone, I know what it sorta does. The strange thing is you mentioned Microsoft?" He looked at Xes in a way that said we all know iPhones ain’t from Microsoft!
"Now seeuh here, I don'tuh need your sasseh remarksuh"
Xes slowly walked over to the shelf and picked up one of the devices. After playing around with it for a while she just exploded angrily, "What is going on here?!
Who the hell would want a stupid piece of technology like that!!? No phone?! Are you kidding?" She got all up in The Funnyaccentman's face.
"Oh, calm downuh you slutuh!" He smacked her in the face and left the room locking the door behind him. Izan checked on his sister but she was clearly out cold. He decided to fiddle around with the oversized, phone-less iPhone.

This mysterious device seemed more intriguing to Izan than it did to his sister. "Hey mister, I --" he began, but he looked around forgetting that the man had, yet again, eerily vanished. "What the fuck is up with this place?" He asked himself, "Microsoft of '69 has some creepy fellows. That leprechaun, MAN! And monsieur not revealing his name. And how we went from being with hippies to some swanky teach- heavy office..." He trailed off in a rambling self-narration that would make him look insane if anyone were in there. "Seeing as no one is in here," Izan said as he looked around, "I think I'll take one of these doohickeys with me in the time machine back to 2010! I will be the only one with one muah hahaha-"
"Bro, are you talking to yourself again!?" Xes asked through tired speech (she sleep-talks) from the ground.

He laughed and continued to dig deeper into the device but the battery started to die, so he looked around for a charge of some sort. Evidently, there was nowhere to charge it, so he turned it off and sat down in the corner. That's when he saw what looked like a way out.

There was a half damaged vent near the top corner of the room. He grabbed a chair and stood on it to see if he could get it off. The noise awoke Xes and she came over to see what was going on. "Yo what are you doing up there?" she asked but he didn't reply because he was so lost in his train of thought about getting out. "Hey!" she yelled and tugged on his space suit. He thought she was the funny man and let out a girly squeal then fell off the chair (for the second time today).
In his defensive Kung Fu pose he yelled, "Back off queer man!...oh uuuh...you're awake." He clutched his heart, thinking he had coronary thrombosis or something. After he caught his breath he explained to his sister that they may have a way out of their prison. “It’s just a matter of if we can fit!” he said as he hopped up on his chair and continued trying to get the vent off.

After half an hour and some dramatic montage music sung by Xes, the vent finally came off. "Finally! The vent came off!"
"Yeah, I got skillz… but now there is bad news. I don't think it can fit us both. We're too heavy together" he explained to her. "Get everything you can together and I'll lift you up and you go. Don't worry about me I'll be fine, just try to find some sort of help."
"I can't man, I wont be able to do it myself." Xes said nervously, "It's just too much man; I'm too scared"
"You can! Don't worry. There is a window here in the back of our room, that maybe our arms could fit through, see it? Maybe if you can get outside through the vent we can meet up at the window and conduct another plan for getting me out. Go now, before someone comes back!" Izan put his hands out and boosted Xes up to the vent. He put the vent cover back on, slipped the mysterious techno device into his spacepack, and waited.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Love,
Izanrelur and Xesetarip
xxx


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