Harry Potter Love Hexagon

I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows pt 1 last night with my best buddy Morgan. Here is what you need to know:

1) Everyone wears sweatpants in Waterloo. Gross.

2) I look hot in HP glasses

3) You can't get a fucking cab around here if your life depends on it, which it did. We called 6 cabs and waited outside for 30mins before one came. Outrageous.

4) The movie was awesome! (Though I have mixed feelings about the script... don't tell anyone)

5) Sean will cry!

Anywho, I wrote this rap a couple of years ago (and Morgan added images but there are too many to post) and I was sorting through some documents the other day and came across it. It's pretty rough and... awful, but I thought it was appropriate for all the Harry Potter-ness that's goin' around:

I'd have a threesome with Ron and Seamus,

But they must suit up to trap the semen

Because if it gets all ova ma clothes

That bitch Hermione will call me a ho.

She'll definitely run to Dumbledore,

Sayin' "O.M.G. Camille is a whore."

And then D'dore will say, "what about me?"

And I would say "Yo youz too old fo me."

D'dore would reply, "No more gettin' high"

So I'd go, "Why oh why oh why oh why?"

He would say, "Bitch I thought we had a thang."

"But Ron and Seamus have magical wangs!"

He said, "Fuck you, that's the end of our sesh"

And walked away with his flowey cape-dress.

What was this that corner of my eye'd see?

Ron and Seamus were ploughin' Hermione!

I had to get high 'cause I was hurtin'

So I hopped on ma broom and returned to Courtice.

Happy Potter!

-Xesetarip