These Little Hair Clippings in my Eyes Produce Tears

Have I posted this song before? Likely. But listen.

I'm trimming my bangs and it's a challenge to do with my eyes open, seeing as my eyes are right there vulnerable to the little clippings. I'm also switching from my right to left hand (don't worry I'm [kind of] ambidextrous) trying to create a straight line and then *bam* hair shrapnel to the spherical structure enclosed by the sclera and the cornea. I own a dictionary and look up everything... how else can I sound moderately intelligent in conversations with well-versed men and other folk I'm trying to impress/sleep with? HA.

Oh no, more sad songs on shuffle. iTunes sees the tears produced by the little hair clippings and thinks "I'm makin' her cry." Motha fucka! You listen to me iTunes, I don't cry. I'm made of stone grrrrrrr.

Anywho, I have about 1 pound of hair in the garbage, about 2 pounds of hair on my desk, and about 50 little clippings in and around my keyboard. My bangs were really hefty, let me tell you.

So as I am listening to this sappy music my brain is going "perhaps you should remark events you don't want to because I am evil." My brain is evil. Usually it works to my advantage (I have this crazy ability to kick small children and cats without remorse) but now I am on thought overload. In a bad way. Recent events ... last night I s'pose... are making me feel like some kind of philosopher trying to work some intricate thing out. ---- Oh shit. There was a brief pause in my typeyness because THSD came on iTunes and I decided to have a little individual head bang sesh and then I look up and all these little mother fucking hair clippings are everywhere. But back to the philosophizing... I feel like chicks over-analyze things too much. And I see this naivete (or, vulnerability?) everywhere so I know it's not just me.

Perhaps some emotional engagements, whatever they may be, should be viewed as exactly what they are. And no friends, I did not get laid if that's what you're thinking (but I know you were rooting for me)! As I was thinking about all of this, I thought I should maybe [vaguely] document it so I wouldn't forget, and then the hair clippings got in my eye and a blog was born (that is modern reproduction I tell ya).

I'm just thinking......

Drugs take precedence over family.

Emotions take precedence over morals.

Greed takes precedence over logic.

Nothing takes precedence over dancing.

'Precedence' takes precedence over 'priority.'

Lol that was annoying. I need to shower now and wash all of the physically-generated and definitely not emotionally produced tears away. Fuck these hair clippings man *sniffle* FUCK THEM! Ahahaha

So sexy you want to bang my bangs,

Xesetarip

Vulgar Miscellany as Usual

While Sean comes up with something innovative and cool, I'm going to play it old school and type the things I entertain myself with.

T H O U G H T S A N D S H I T

☮ Camille says:
I WANT BOOK
ME WANT BOOK
BOOK ME WANT ON SALE AT INDIGO
ME BUY DRUGS AND NOT BOOK.

My lips are peeling and I keep biting the skin off and it bleeds and it's all gross but I don't care.

I haven't shaved my legs in a month-ish (YES I have given up on trying to get laid for a while) and when I went to see the doctor the other day he had to check on my legs and asked me to roll up my pants. Most. Awkward. Thing. Ever. I just went "oooh... heh... sorry."

I went to Harvey's to get a veggie burger (7 months vegetarian today woo!) because I'm feeling rotten and don't want to cook/ do the dishes, and Jake was all that doesn't even taste like meat, gross and I was all: .................................................

Because I thought really hard and realized that even when I did eat meat, my burger was so pickle-y I never really got to know what "fast-food burger" tasted like. I ordered burgers for the pickles. I want to try it next time with no 'meat' at all!

I HAVE HAD THIS SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD ALL DAY ♥

(Clicky hyperlinky) Sooooooo beautiful! But apparently this dude sounds like Bob Dylan. Such an unpleasant reality. According to myself, I am not supposed to like Bob Dylan. Simply not allowed.

I found this sick tutorial on how to make a picture all hipster-y in my beloved Photoshop:

This is the ugly original I took in grade 11 Photography class.

BAM! Ugly original turned hipsterific! Could've desaturated it a bit more I s'pose but I didn't want y'all to be overwhelmed.

But seriously call me *wink, wink*

I went to see Carla Collins (and Richard Ryder) with my mum last night, and it was a swell comedy show. I thought I would share my two favourite lines from the show, both from Richard Ryder who was actually "opening" for Carla. Anywho FUNNY STUFF:

High heels were invented by ugly men so you couldn't run away.

If ya don't like your kids, leave 'em at the mall!

Mr. Ryder knows what's good.

-------------------------------

I must do something productive like weep while I masturbate. Or nap. Haven't slept much, but I like the "natural" look of under-eye circles. I think I'll choose the former. Plus McCoffee is free; FREE ARTIFICIAL ALERTNESS!? I'LL TAKE IT!

HA Peace,

Xesetarip

Harry Potter Love Hexagon

I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows pt 1 last night with my best buddy Morgan. Here is what you need to know:

1) Everyone wears sweatpants in Waterloo. Gross.

2) I look hot in HP glasses

3) You can't get a fucking cab around here if your life depends on it, which it did. We called 6 cabs and waited outside for 30mins before one came. Outrageous.

4) The movie was awesome! (Though I have mixed feelings about the script... don't tell anyone)

5) Sean will cry!

Anywho, I wrote this rap a couple of years ago (and Morgan added images but there are too many to post) and I was sorting through some documents the other day and came across it. It's pretty rough and... awful, but I thought it was appropriate for all the Harry Potter-ness that's goin' around:

I'd have a threesome with Ron and Seamus,

But they must suit up to trap the semen

Because if it gets all ova ma clothes

That bitch Hermione will call me a ho.

She'll definitely run to Dumbledore,

Sayin' "O.M.G. Camille is a whore."

And then D'dore will say, "what about me?"

And I would say "Yo youz too old fo me."

D'dore would reply, "No more gettin' high"

So I'd go, "Why oh why oh why oh why?"

He would say, "Bitch I thought we had a thang."

"But Ron and Seamus have magical wangs!"

He said, "Fuck you, that's the end of our sesh"

And walked away with his flowey cape-dress.

What was this that corner of my eye'd see?

Ron and Seamus were ploughin' Hermione!

I had to get high 'cause I was hurtin'

So I hopped on ma broom and returned to Courtice.

Happy Potter!

-Xesetarip

Alien Super DUEL

Our collaborative blog post for October was a little delayed, but is finally here. We have staged a photographic fight to the death. Izanrelur vs. Xesetarip; alien powers and weapons galore! One of us took the "look I'm an art student see what I can do with a DSLR oooh la la look at these angles" approach, and the other took a "I'm poor and lazy but at least I have Photoshop... can we get drunk now?" approach. Very evident. Here is the story:

Xesetarip was busy applying lipstick when Izanrelur walked in to the room with a very angry presence. "Why the fuck are you dressed like that? Oh shit! Is today the day we're having a duel!?!"

Rivalries have always been something siblings from all over can relate to, but the rivalries between the siblings on planet Jiangyin can sometimes result in death! "The reason I'm dressed like this is that I recently got into a car accident, and seeing as we have trouble breathing oxygen as is, my oxygen in-taker was damaged and I need to wear it to survive."

Well my dear brother, what do you say we commence then?" Xesetarip said as she whipped her musket from behind her back. "Look what I got motha fucka!!!!!"

"I present my home made axe to finish what I started."

"I'd like to see you try against my phallic spatula!" She whacked him a few times.

Izanrelur appeared to be unaffected by the spatula.

"Okay mother fucker! HOW ABOUT I CUT YOUR DICK OFF?!"

"Hahaha, your little amateur kitchen utensils have no effect over me. I've been operated on and rebuilt stronger than ever. Even the sharpest of sharp scissors couldn't cut through my alien skin."

"That's it, you've pissed me off! EAT FLAMES BITCH!"

'Argh! Too bad it barely had any affect! Now get ready for a broken leg!'

"Not if I shoot you first! Go Bullet Bill!" *bang bang*

"Too bad all it takes is *swing, swing* and Bullet Bill goes bye bye! You're in for one now sis! See you in hell!"

"What if I... seduce you?"

"Incest is Wincest! But Your-cest is Grossest! DIE!!!!" *clobbers with axe*

"You can defeat one of me, but you can't defeat all of my SPAWN!!!" *duplicates*

"Oh god! You're lucky the accident caused me to lose my powers! But I was given the option to go light speed!" *Rapidly attacks Xesetarip's clones*

"Damn it! That was fast! At least I still have my powers. SUCK MY LASER BEAM, ASSHOLE!"

"They have no chance hurting me! I'll just use my helmet to reflect the beam and send it back to you!"

"Gah my retinas! It's okay, I'm immune. You should know this by now, you had your powers long enough. Peace brother? I offer you this teriyaki sauce in the name of peace!"

"You were always the weaker one sister. There shall be peace once more, until we fight again. Thank you for this offering also." *dips finger in sauce and tastes it* "NOOOO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!! AGHH!!

"You're calling ME weak!? Dumb ass, it was obviously poisoned! And now you must die. I will finish you off with my giant black dildo from hell!"

"AGH!!!! WHY! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO END THIS WAY! THE PROPHECY SAID I WAS GOING TO WIN! -- FUCK -- *sighs* But I really should thank you after all. It was your life that taught me the purpose of all life... The purpose of life is to end and tonight... is mine. Goodbye sister!"

Xesetarip began to tear up upon realizing she had actually killed her beloved alien twin. "Izanrelur I'm so sor--"

Bearded Kirby returned from this blog and punched each of the twins in the gut "I'm back mothafuckasssss"

"It appears today is the day I die too, brother. See you in hell!"

"See you in ... hell... mother... fucke...r" Izanrelur said with his last breath.

Kirby inhaled, and the twins found themselves yet again inside his stomach.

"HA pwn'd!" Kirby said as he rinsed their bodies down with a glass of water.

Forced Writing Proficiency + Magic = Who Cares?

My English minor contributes to me getting stoned and writing depressing "poems" that may or may not make sense (written Nov 4):


Why do you do these same things?
Every day you wake up in the same filth
and you check the wristbands and
markings on your arm to know where you were

And its just a haze and you make your coffee
kind of vegetate but you go at it again
because your spine fuzes with your blankets
songs attach themselves to every nerve

Who was that man? He has a girlfriend
and I don't think he likes the way you really look
You don't know me you don't I don't
But you know you missed out.

There are things missing but
its going to be good either way
But your eyes dry up
and the music won't play just right

There are hands so close to yours
But you won't touch them even though
They've reached out and are true
And you know it too which is funny.

But you look at everything as this big
Frozen hole that is the world
and every thought you've ever had
is locked up and unleashed at some point

Every word seems essential
Every mistake, there is some kind of gain
No one cares and no one wants
to see the typed word written out of

Repugnant forms of
tranquility.


-Xesetarip

This file was saved as 'if no one cares do you still write?' to which the answer appears to be 'yes.' My subconscious is astounding sometimes. I like to read what I don't know I've written... if that makes any sense.

Rare Adrenaline, Artificially Produced.

Last night, time ran so slow. It seemed like the longest night ever. It was just nice to be with friends and have the lunch kids do their thing. As usual I was triggered to write something nonsensical:

I miss the days of getting high

and stealing the boys' skateboards

and skate around campus

Making videos that were

funny and

the great 2-12 floor hop

or whatever those numbers were

Numbness of the tongue

what did I eat?

Why did I think of you?

and where do these glorious footsteps come from

that sting the back of my neck

kind of tingly like

There are these subtleties that you don't always see

A man under the curtain taking

snapshots of himself

or who is leering over your shoulder

Constantly constantly

cold cold cold up my arm

and my fucking neck

I don't understand this

This has to stop I'm travelling

Backward upward downward

and if this fucker would get off my shoulder

and my neck!

I titled the document "you should know your shoulder was bothersome".

There was much productivity at this point when I finished majority of my storyboards for my production package. But then I was like... being called. Time could go a bit slower. And then Briar is texting me "adventure! Adventure!" So I went to Shannon's room. Which was magical: 2 candles to light the room, laying on the floor with the lights off, Pink Floyd, and some sort of bran cereal. Jake comes and we all sit. He says "It's 2am, that's ADVENTURE TIME!" so we got up and went outside.

I forgot my glasses. It was madness... we walked to some and something intersection and Jake and Briar saw this place I don't remember the name but it was lit all red and because I didn't have my glasses the light was bleeding everywhere. I saw silhouettes of menacing figures and rundown warehouse buildings and I decided I should not go down this street. Shannon and I turned around to walk away and Briar and Jake left their inhibitions and kept going. These men were gaining on us down the street. We turned the corner and panicked because we didn't know where we were and Briar didn't answer her phone. What the fuck time was it!? So we're wandering down this mystery road but we know we're parallel to Dundas but we don't know which direction.

Briar answers: meet at Adelaide. We can't find Adelaide. Let's find Yonge; it's around and it's safe...er. But I can't see. People are yelling out of their cars. Something happens and we find Yonge and this man charges at us. He is on drugs and he's begging for money. We say no, no, NO but he walks right beside us getting in our face, matching our pace. Super persistent and invading my comfort zone. I came to a dead stop and he walked a few steps before noticing. "NO!" but he keeps touching his head and making incomprehensible noises. A man walks by us in the other direction and the begger attaches himself to him and we run off. We cross the road to keep a distance.

We're five minutes from home and calming down from our panic tripshow. And I see in my peripherals, across the street is the begger. Charging, staring straight ahead; he is walking very, very fast. He is beside us but across the street. We freak out because the only places to turn are sketchy streets; no major ones. We're prepared to walk to a hotel if only we can get to the street!!! We're panicking and then the man stops at Big Slice. To get home, we have to walk in his line of vision. We stare at him and we're freaking out; this man walks passed us and seems to think we're crazy. The begger goes into Big Slice and we go home, hearts racing.

So, 2am is NOT adventure time in downtown Toronto. Especially when you're blind, and lost and trippin' balls. I don't get scared easily at all! It was a bad experience, but kind of fun at the same time. But more so terrifying.

On the other hand, when I woke up this morning, I was wrapped in a very tight cocoon, and I awoke with a smile on my face. I've never been so comfortable.

So friends, always stay with your friends. Particularly if one is muscular, and the other has a knack for talking to anyone (in this example, Jake and Briar). They can save you from aggressive beggers and sketchy figures (or at least give you peace of mind that they can even if they can't).

Happy to be alive,

Xesetarip.

Drain the lake and bring it back to me.

So the weekend is over, but I wish I were still drunk. I don't know why, life just seems to be much more enjoyable while under the influence. You don't have to constantly worry about the stress in your life, school and homework fade away into the background and the sense of having fun arises. All you want to do is party and everyone around is the same way. Monday mornings are boring; it's the start of a new week, all the homework you didn't do on the weekend is about to be due, you're tired, feel like shit and everyone around is the exact same. Why is it that we need these poisons in our bodies to actually enjoy living? Why have we made the world into something that we need to escape? We live most of our lives waiting for the weekend, waiting for holidays. We spend 5 long dragged on days waiting for 2 awesome nights and 2 horrible mornings. Is this what life is about? because I'm sure this is what we've made it. Though I guess I will have people who read this that say they live life to the fullest, okay, if you want to think that, go a head. But with school and work, you never will. Sure you love you're job and what you do, but why do you constantly look at the clock to see when you're on break or get off? You live life to the fullest as much as possible, but most of the time you're still just waiting to do it, instead of just doing it.

This kind of makes me feel that the 60s were actually the best times. No one worked, everyone partied all the time. There was no stress. Everyone lived their life and everyone was having fun. Music was huge, everyone was playing it, listening to it, parting to it. If this were to last though how would life be today? Without people willing to work hard and make the world what it is I don't think we'd last. No advancements in medicine? No thank you, so I guess I'm kinda glad we have people out there working all the time. But do they do it cause they have to? or is it cause they want to?

Why am I even here?
It's like Photoshop for dummies, I haven't paid attention since it started an hour ago, I'm listening to music and writing this + stumbling + MSN. I'm paying for this...

I have urgent advice to give you that my wonderful twin informed me about not more than 5 mins ago. To everyone out there who uses Soap made of fire or soap that is the equivalence of 1 000 °C not to put it in or around your eyes. They will burn really bad, turn red and your contacts will NOT go in! EVER! AGAIN! You will basically die in like 24 minutes.

This will be your eye.






So class is almost over. There is going to be a huge Duel Post this week so make sure you look out for that one.

Izanrelur.

WE ARE AH