The Time We Went Back In Time (Part 1)

This is a document written by biographer Norman L. Hollandaise of Izanrelur and Xesetarip’s first time travel expedition. It was composed in late April 2010 after an extensive interview with the twins. There is footage of these events yet to be released. The twins departed on February 3rd 2010.

... the time was, in fact, August 15, 1969 in Bethel New York. The twins had just arrived from the present via their trusty time machine built by the masterful Izanrelur. Little did the people at Woodstock know, A BATTLE OF EPIC AWESOMENESS was about to ensue. They were dawned in their spectacular gear: Izan in a very crisp, stylish Astronaut Suit and Xes in her shiny, extraordinary suit of armour (by Armani).

To prepare themselves for the festival, the twins took a couple hits of acid (if you know them you'll know it is their drug of choice next to meth). Xes reminded her brother of the time when he took acid which resulted in the loss of his iPod to the garbage man. "Oh yeah" he responded. "Oh well", and he took one extra tab for the road.

Once they got up to the gate of the festival they realized they were a tad late, and it was already packed with stanky ass awesome hippies. They quickly made friends with a woman name Moonfrugal and hopped up top of the crowd with a surf board and literally surfed their way to the center of the group.

"Okay, seeing as no one can hear me with this suit of Armani armour on, can you please address the crowd as to our intentions?" Xesetarip asked her brother.
"Sorry I didn't hear you behind that suit of Armani armour. You should have dressed a little more practically for this event you knob," he replied.

"You're wearing a space suit you piece of shit!" They were only at Woodstock for an hour and they were already fighting.

They decided to chill for a bit and jam to music. After about 40 minutes of vibing out to Sweetwater, Izan asked his sister "Yo, this was such a good idea to come here man! I really wanna grab a hold of one of these dragons and go for a ride, but they're to damn fast br-"
Xes interrupted him screaming, "THIS ISN'T WHY WE ARE HERE MAN!" Izan couldn’t hear her and began to caress the tats of a woman dressed in nothing but a skirt made of daisies. His attention span is often very limited.
"Why didn't I bring a fucking change of clothes!?" thought Xesetarip, "what is the point of wearing this suit of armour if NO ONE CAN HEAR ME!" She scoped out the crowd and came to an epiphany. After seeing the nudity around her, she realized she had no other option than to remove her suit and join them.

It is notable that she is a very logical thinker while under the influence of acid. It is also notable that she is usually naked anyway so it really wasn't that big of an epiphany.

Three hours later, siblings were inevitably split up. The entirety of events during this time were a blur of drugs, sex and music. Izan had found a nice sexy hippy and was surrounded by followers while he told them about his encounters in space with aliens and how he saved the planet from destruction. The music was dying down and one of the crazy Hindu Indians came out to speak to the crowd. Meanwhile Xesetarip was running around naked with a crowd of crazy hippies, yelling and dancing and tipping over porta potties.

Click the pic for big bad saucy sexy good grand qualiteh.

With her face covered in mud she said, "WHERE IS MY BROTHER HOLY SHIT!" and using her Woman Power she demanded him away form his orgy and onto the stage. "Tell them why we're here, brother!" she commanded.
"Jesus H, put some fucking clothes on, slut!" As he stumbled around on stage, trying to get his balance, he took off his helmet and puked all over the drum kit. "Ahh, that feels better." He walked over to his sister, covering his eyes out of disgust of her lack of clothed-ness. "Have you no dignity?!, you're scaring everyone here with your nudity! Put some--"
Xesetarip rudely interrupted her brother. "FORGET ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW! WHY ARE WE HERE!"

A well endowed African American man pat Xesetarip on the shoulder and handed her a blanket, "please, for the sake of us all, cover yourself." Hesitantly she wrapped the blanket around her so her brother could uncover his eyes and keep the rest of his lunch down. "FRIENDS OF WOODSTOCK! My brother Izanrelur and I are here because.....(a lengthy pause, then she whispered to Izan)... bro, I forget why we're here. I know we wore battle suits for a reason..."

Izanrelur looked at Xesetarip puzzled. He leaned in and whispered, "Fuck, I forgot too. GOD DAMN IT!" He went back to the crowd and assured them that they were experiencing a tiny little technical difficulty and it would be fixed in a couple minutes. But hippies don’t like delays you see; the crazed treehuggers/potheads began to riot!
"WE WONT WAIT FOR ANYONE!!!!!" they chanted as they destroyed the place!

"RUNNNN BROTHER!" screamed a now naked Xesetarip (the blanket was thrown on a group of rabid hippies).

Izan grabbed the mic and climbed up one of the pillars of the stage! "CALM DOWN, CALM THE FUCK DOWN EVERYONE!'

Xesetarip climbed up after him, "GET THEM TO STOP, I'M SCARED!!!!" she whimpered.

"Shut the fuck up, I know what I'm doing," he responded back (in a more aggressive tone, if you couldn't guess). "ALRIGHT YOU WANNA KNOW WHY WE'RE HERE?!" The crowd cheered! "The real reason is--" the mic then dropped to the ground... and so did Izanruler, shortly followed by his sister. Someone had thrown a rock knocking both twins unconscious! A couple of [oddly well-dressed] hippies captured both Izan and Xes and took them away to a mysterious place.



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