Buy Your Wife A.S.D. For Christmas

BUY YOUR WIFE THE PERFECT

DIAMOND RING/CELL PHONE/TURKEY/TOOTHBRUSH/CAMERA/WINTER COAT/TATTOO/SHOES/TRIP TO HAWAII/LINGERE/SNUGGIE/NEW CAR/GIFT CARD/PEPTO BISMOL/COCA COLA/GAME SYSTEM/COFFEE/DVD/PORNO/MALE PROSTITUTE/DILDO/SOMETHINGSHECANGETOFFTOOBECAUSEYOU'REIMPOTENT/ARSENIC

…. AND GET LAID THIS CHRISTMAS!

I've been having thoughts churning in my head all week about what I was going to write about. Each day that got closer to Christmas made me more and more miserable and I had this plan to blog about how much I hate it and how its negatives outweigh the positives.

I just think Christmas is pointless for a non-religious person, isn’t it? It's all about impressing folks; whether it be with your decorations, your food, the gifts you got, the gifts you're giving, how you dress, the cleanliness of your house, and every pointless Christmas thing I see in every fucking store I go into and every fucking TV channel I turn on. It’s solely commercial, and to be honest, I can buy shit any day I want. I can buy shit for my family any day I want. I can be courteous to people, I can decorate, I can make a motherfucking gingerbread house any day I want!!! But of course I don’t. If there’s one thing I do well it’s giving blow jays hypocrisy. I go into debt on Christmas to “show my family I appreciate them” and buy them gifts. I don’t want to celebrate Christmas. I don’t like Christmas. I have no reason to celebrate Christmas. But because everyone does, I do.

There is sosososo much more in my head about the brutality of the season, but unlike a Jehovah’s Witness knocking on your door, I’d rather not ruin your [Christmas] dinner by preaching my beliefs. I also think it would take far too long to write.

Today, after speaking with a friend about Christmas I became less “Grinch-y” as you cute holiday people like to call it. I was like, “yo, self, today wasn’t that bad (compared to your week of battling evil consumers, traffic, ads, terrible music and anticipation of awkward family time [which, as always, lived up to my expectations]).”

THESE ARE GOOD THINGS:

My mum made me homemade tofurkey, which was amazingly awesome.

My dogs were really cool (though they usually are).

There was lots of cheesecake.

Wine too.

My sister liked her 7-inch penis candle (who wouldn’t!?)

I got some sweet gifts.

No one was a dick in drive thru last night, which I thought was impossible.

Fireplaces.

Everyone was all *I’m gonna smile at you, stranger. Today, and today only.*

Christmas lights are trippy in general.

I got cards from friends and such.

Of course I must reiterate that there are more negative things than good things about Christmas. I think next year I’m going to be logical and not……………… wasteful? Whatever. Christmas, you and I are done professionally. I don’t think I’m going to participate (if I can weasel my way out of it). I’ll be like my gramma and volunteer at a soup kitchen for people who really need stuff. I don’t need presents. I buy my own throughout the year because I am a spoiled brat, and I save paper by not wrapping them.

Christmas is the new Valentine’s Day for a non-religious person. Or maybe it always has been and I’m just realizing it now. But unlike Valentine’s Day, there is no sexy man whispering in my ear while we drink wine in my room. Well… I guess Jesus, now that I think about it… But fo realz y’all know dat dunn happen wit me.

Anywho, I’m becoming the Jehovah’s Witness I told you I wasn’t going to be (I guess proving my statement about hypocrisy). I have a new bong to christen (OH such appropriate wording!) so, I’m going to do that.

I work bright ‘n early, and if I see anyone’s face in McD’s I’m going to deliberately screw up your order! It won’t be Christmas anymore so I don’t have to be nice to you.

LOVE YOUR HOE HOE HOE

Xesetarip

Ps. I’m kidding about the McD’s thing. I don’t want to get fired or nothin’. I need to make up for all this bloody spending I’ve been doing, fuck.

Pps. Yes I am this cynical about everything. Call me Buzz Killington.

Vivo

So recently Camille showed me a website she found, stumbling maybe, I'm not too sure, anyways the site was sorta like FML(Fuck My Life) or MLIA(My Life Is Awesome). Where users will post little updates about things going on in their lives. Though a little different from those sites, but still very similar, this was called MMT(Makes Me Think). The whole site is based around updates that are very meaningful and just generally makes you think. For example; (I'll have you all know that it has taken me 30 minutes or so to pick through about 20 or so posts trying to find the best one just because they are all amazing.)

"Today, after I watched my dog get run over by a car, I sat on the side of the road holding him and crying. And just before he died, he licked the tears off my face. MMT"

&

"Today, I returned home after being stationed in Iraq for 9 months. While I was still in uniform, I went into an ice cream shop near the airport to get a milkshake. The girl behind the counter handed me my shake and said, “It’s on me.” “Thanks, you didn’t have to do that,” I said. “Neither did you,” she replied. MMT"






I've been reading this non stop and it's actually really making me think. Like generally I dislike change very much, I don't truly feel happy, I'm terrified of death and just kinda live life always waiting for something, always looking forward to something and never focusing on whats going on right now. Life passes you by like a blur and years down the road you'll look back and realize how much you missed you. However, after reading this I feel it has actually generally changed they way I look at life.

Over the summer, after 4 years of dating this girl, we broke up. Now this killed me, and has been still affecting me till today. But after reading that site, I have come to accept almost appreciate it. I hate change, but with out change I wouldn't be where I am right now, and for the first time in months I believe that I can truly say that I'm happy. I don't regret anything, I wouldn't change anything.

I know you probably have all heard this before but you should all take a minute and tell your friends and family how much they mean to you because you never know what could happen. Life your life to the fullest and if you're unhappy, change something, because it's your life, why should you waste it feeling depressed. Follow your dreams and do what you want, don't let anyone tell you you can't do something, just use that to motivate yourself more. Embrace all your regrets and mistakes and turn them into positive life experiences. They will be the things that shape and mold you into the person you become.


























Here is a song that has helped me finally see all of this:

The Surface - Rosesdead

The sky is clear. The light will shine. The sea is calm. All doubt is lost. All eyes are open. The peace is near.
Words can't describe, what life was like. I was underneath the wake. Those darkened days, I'll leave behind. It was more than I could take. And yet, if it could happen all again, I wouldn't want it any other way.
If I could do it all again, I wouldn't change, a single thing. This is the start of something. This is the start of something new I've never felt like this before. I never thought I would see this soar. Make this fight, worth your time.
Make sure you don't regret a thing. Don't regret a thing. Now that I'm looking down, this is the way it was meant to be

(As I stand here, I realize. In order to grow from what once was, all of this needed to happen. Now I'm finally where I need to be.)

Make mistakes. Make your dreams. Live your life. Make mistakes. Live your dreams. Make this real.

Let light rain down on me.

These words may never describe, exactly what I felt inside. But I know how hard I tried and that I'll learn to make the most of this life.


Anyways, I hope you took something away from reading this, and it doesn't just turn into an empty thought in the back of your mind. But everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I'll try to post as much as possible during the break...I can see that Camille hasn't been :P. Merry Christmas everyone and have a Happy New Year

<3izanrelur>

M322Y ><-M45

So me and Xesetarip are done school for the ><-M45 Holidays. You're all probably wondering if we celebrate ><-M45 and we do. We were raised by humans and have had it in our lives since we were small. Though that doesn't mean we don't celebrate out Planetary Holiday. See the difference from our species to yours is that we don't have war, or different religious or racism, every one on our planet celebrated the same holidays, there were no wars between one another, we respected everyone no matter how different they looked and we didn't have religion , it was more of a prophecy and everyone looked up to it.

Our 'Christmas' type holiday which was called (note this is a rough translation) Nep`Xiu. It was to celebrate the 4 Qi`san' Xiu. (Translate to Ruler or King) of each quadrant of the planet. North-east, South-east ect. Nep'Xiu wasn't flash or as beautiful as Christmas here was. We didn't Christmas lights or trees, but the whole population from each quadrant would meet in the middle of the planet, miles upon miles of open area to have a huge festival. There would be music, fire, dancing, and everyone would exchange gifts, but how it would work out would be you give your gift to a stranger, someone you didn't know. This was known as Lebnx'gpu (Which is roughly 'give to one another'). However, I was not alive when our planet was around and have only learned through generations of reproductions of books and what not, so things could have been altered. In the end though I wish everyone reading this and all your friends and family a happy holiday from both me, Izanrelur, Xesetarip and everyone that helps out at Alien Super Duo, no matter what you celebrate.

One more thing. So last night I watched Skyline. It was mediocre at best, but one thing that worried me is how the human population take aliens. Now I'm not speaking for the whole universe but I assure you no race is going to come down to earth and kill everyone. If they're hear for war, you would be dead before you even knew it. When aliens decide to come to earth, well let me say that better. When a full colony of aliens decides to visit earth, they're naturally going to come to explore and record date for their own library of sciences. Examine what you do, and try to understand the Human race, they may even take subjects back to their home planet and teach everyone a thing or two about the universe. I don't know if it will happen anytime soon, but when it does, I'll be ready!

Ps. I'm still awaiting parts for my space ship so I can go home, I mean go to what ever is left of it.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE! TRY NOT TO GET TOOOO DRUNK THIS CHRISTMAS...or whatever you celebrate!

On Pussy

Izanrelur wanted to write a blog. He had it already written. But being his lazy ass motherfucking self he didn't want to post it because he wanted poutine instead. So Xesetarip volunteered, and this is what he said about that:

"it would make my writing sound super awesome
pussy would be flying at my face
they'd be like slugs crawling up the wall and ceiling and falling on my head
You could basically say I'd be swimming in a pile of them
maybe wear two as a pair of shoes
it would be like fall, like a pile of leaves, i'd run and jump into them
holy fuck its gunna be awesome
i'll have so much left over pussy my grandkids we'll be fucking them"

Apparently Xesetarip has really, really good writing. Like, vag catnip or something. So this is what he wanted to post:

There are 3 things every woman must know to be the perfect girl:

1. The Kitchen! Learn everything about it!, Where everything is, what everything does, how to measure without utensils, and learn learn learn how to multi-task without burnage!

2. Cleaning! Make sure everything is spotless always! Never a stain rug, never a dirty washroom, never a messy tv room, never EVER dust on ANYTHING!

3. Sex! Master it, not for you, but for him! Lets get this out of the way now, no he doesn't care if you get an orgasm and he never will! BJs, HJs, Sex in general must be mastered ...when you're done with him, he'll fall asleep and you can use your toy.

Not only is this a list you should live by but this is a list that ever man on earth judges you with, so make sure you master the 3 things: Cooking, cleaning and sexing.

.....haha, I'm just playing ladies, you know I love you.

....... a lot.

So, that's... ahem... nice. And this a little anecdote he wrote about his lovely twin sister:

Pooooor Camille

Was always a good cleaner, mediocre fuck, but couldn't cook her way out of a cardboard box and all she got was a 4-incher, 4-ever.

So Xesetarip, in need of wrapping up the blog, asked Izanrelur to sum it up. He said:

Women are stupid and I don't respect them
That's right, I just have sex with them

It's an entertaining song, but he could try being original... upon suggesting this, he said:

They nag!
All
The
Time

Perhaps he should just admit he's gay already... He did say, and I quote, "I'm not good with this whole female thing man"

Sincerely,
Xesetarip (writing on behalf of her gay alien super twin)

These Little Hair Clippings in my Eyes Produce Tears

Have I posted this song before? Likely. But listen.

I'm trimming my bangs and it's a challenge to do with my eyes open, seeing as my eyes are right there vulnerable to the little clippings. I'm also switching from my right to left hand (don't worry I'm [kind of] ambidextrous) trying to create a straight line and then *bam* hair shrapnel to the spherical structure enclosed by the sclera and the cornea. I own a dictionary and look up everything... how else can I sound moderately intelligent in conversations with well-versed men and other folk I'm trying to impress/sleep with? HA.

Oh no, more sad songs on shuffle. iTunes sees the tears produced by the little hair clippings and thinks "I'm makin' her cry." Motha fucka! You listen to me iTunes, I don't cry. I'm made of stone grrrrrrr.

Anywho, I have about 1 pound of hair in the garbage, about 2 pounds of hair on my desk, and about 50 little clippings in and around my keyboard. My bangs were really hefty, let me tell you.

So as I am listening to this sappy music my brain is going "perhaps you should remark events you don't want to because I am evil." My brain is evil. Usually it works to my advantage (I have this crazy ability to kick small children and cats without remorse) but now I am on thought overload. In a bad way. Recent events ... last night I s'pose... are making me feel like some kind of philosopher trying to work some intricate thing out. ---- Oh shit. There was a brief pause in my typeyness because THSD came on iTunes and I decided to have a little individual head bang sesh and then I look up and all these little mother fucking hair clippings are everywhere. But back to the philosophizing... I feel like chicks over-analyze things too much. And I see this naivete (or, vulnerability?) everywhere so I know it's not just me.

Perhaps some emotional engagements, whatever they may be, should be viewed as exactly what they are. And no friends, I did not get laid if that's what you're thinking (but I know you were rooting for me)! As I was thinking about all of this, I thought I should maybe [vaguely] document it so I wouldn't forget, and then the hair clippings got in my eye and a blog was born (that is modern reproduction I tell ya).

I'm just thinking......

Drugs take precedence over family.

Emotions take precedence over morals.

Greed takes precedence over logic.

Nothing takes precedence over dancing.

'Precedence' takes precedence over 'priority.'

Lol that was annoying. I need to shower now and wash all of the physically-generated and definitely not emotionally produced tears away. Fuck these hair clippings man *sniffle* FUCK THEM! Ahahaha

So sexy you want to bang my bangs,

Xesetarip

Vulgar Miscellany as Usual

While Sean comes up with something innovative and cool, I'm going to play it old school and type the things I entertain myself with.

T H O U G H T S A N D S H I T

☮ Camille says:
I WANT BOOK
ME WANT BOOK
BOOK ME WANT ON SALE AT INDIGO
ME BUY DRUGS AND NOT BOOK.

My lips are peeling and I keep biting the skin off and it bleeds and it's all gross but I don't care.

I haven't shaved my legs in a month-ish (YES I have given up on trying to get laid for a while) and when I went to see the doctor the other day he had to check on my legs and asked me to roll up my pants. Most. Awkward. Thing. Ever. I just went "oooh... heh... sorry."

I went to Harvey's to get a veggie burger (7 months vegetarian today woo!) because I'm feeling rotten and don't want to cook/ do the dishes, and Jake was all that doesn't even taste like meat, gross and I was all: .................................................

Because I thought really hard and realized that even when I did eat meat, my burger was so pickle-y I never really got to know what "fast-food burger" tasted like. I ordered burgers for the pickles. I want to try it next time with no 'meat' at all!

I HAVE HAD THIS SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD ALL DAY ♥

(Clicky hyperlinky) Sooooooo beautiful! But apparently this dude sounds like Bob Dylan. Such an unpleasant reality. According to myself, I am not supposed to like Bob Dylan. Simply not allowed.

I found this sick tutorial on how to make a picture all hipster-y in my beloved Photoshop:

This is the ugly original I took in grade 11 Photography class.

BAM! Ugly original turned hipsterific! Could've desaturated it a bit more I s'pose but I didn't want y'all to be overwhelmed.

But seriously call me *wink, wink*

I went to see Carla Collins (and Richard Ryder) with my mum last night, and it was a swell comedy show. I thought I would share my two favourite lines from the show, both from Richard Ryder who was actually "opening" for Carla. Anywho FUNNY STUFF:

High heels were invented by ugly men so you couldn't run away.

If ya don't like your kids, leave 'em at the mall!

Mr. Ryder knows what's good.

-------------------------------

I must do something productive like weep while I masturbate. Or nap. Haven't slept much, but I like the "natural" look of under-eye circles. I think I'll choose the former. Plus McCoffee is free; FREE ARTIFICIAL ALERTNESS!? I'LL TAKE IT!

HA Peace,

Xesetarip

Harry Potter Love Hexagon

I saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows pt 1 last night with my best buddy Morgan. Here is what you need to know:

1) Everyone wears sweatpants in Waterloo. Gross.

2) I look hot in HP glasses

3) You can't get a fucking cab around here if your life depends on it, which it did. We called 6 cabs and waited outside for 30mins before one came. Outrageous.

4) The movie was awesome! (Though I have mixed feelings about the script... don't tell anyone)

5) Sean will cry!

Anywho, I wrote this rap a couple of years ago (and Morgan added images but there are too many to post) and I was sorting through some documents the other day and came across it. It's pretty rough and... awful, but I thought it was appropriate for all the Harry Potter-ness that's goin' around:

I'd have a threesome with Ron and Seamus,

But they must suit up to trap the semen

Because if it gets all ova ma clothes

That bitch Hermione will call me a ho.

She'll definitely run to Dumbledore,

Sayin' "O.M.G. Camille is a whore."

And then D'dore will say, "what about me?"

And I would say "Yo youz too old fo me."

D'dore would reply, "No more gettin' high"

So I'd go, "Why oh why oh why oh why?"

He would say, "Bitch I thought we had a thang."

"But Ron and Seamus have magical wangs!"

He said, "Fuck you, that's the end of our sesh"

And walked away with his flowey cape-dress.

What was this that corner of my eye'd see?

Ron and Seamus were ploughin' Hermione!

I had to get high 'cause I was hurtin'

So I hopped on ma broom and returned to Courtice.

Happy Potter!

-Xesetarip

Alien Super DUEL

Our collaborative blog post for October was a little delayed, but is finally here. We have staged a photographic fight to the death. Izanrelur vs. Xesetarip; alien powers and weapons galore! One of us took the "look I'm an art student see what I can do with a DSLR oooh la la look at these angles" approach, and the other took a "I'm poor and lazy but at least I have Photoshop... can we get drunk now?" approach. Very evident. Here is the story:

Xesetarip was busy applying lipstick when Izanrelur walked in to the room with a very angry presence. "Why the fuck are you dressed like that? Oh shit! Is today the day we're having a duel!?!"

Rivalries have always been something siblings from all over can relate to, but the rivalries between the siblings on planet Jiangyin can sometimes result in death! "The reason I'm dressed like this is that I recently got into a car accident, and seeing as we have trouble breathing oxygen as is, my oxygen in-taker was damaged and I need to wear it to survive."

Well my dear brother, what do you say we commence then?" Xesetarip said as she whipped her musket from behind her back. "Look what I got motha fucka!!!!!"

"I present my home made axe to finish what I started."

"I'd like to see you try against my phallic spatula!" She whacked him a few times.

Izanrelur appeared to be unaffected by the spatula.

"Okay mother fucker! HOW ABOUT I CUT YOUR DICK OFF?!"

"Hahaha, your little amateur kitchen utensils have no effect over me. I've been operated on and rebuilt stronger than ever. Even the sharpest of sharp scissors couldn't cut through my alien skin."

"That's it, you've pissed me off! EAT FLAMES BITCH!"

'Argh! Too bad it barely had any affect! Now get ready for a broken leg!'

"Not if I shoot you first! Go Bullet Bill!" *bang bang*

"Too bad all it takes is *swing, swing* and Bullet Bill goes bye bye! You're in for one now sis! See you in hell!"

"What if I... seduce you?"

"Incest is Wincest! But Your-cest is Grossest! DIE!!!!" *clobbers with axe*

"You can defeat one of me, but you can't defeat all of my SPAWN!!!" *duplicates*

"Oh god! You're lucky the accident caused me to lose my powers! But I was given the option to go light speed!" *Rapidly attacks Xesetarip's clones*

"Damn it! That was fast! At least I still have my powers. SUCK MY LASER BEAM, ASSHOLE!"

"They have no chance hurting me! I'll just use my helmet to reflect the beam and send it back to you!"

"Gah my retinas! It's okay, I'm immune. You should know this by now, you had your powers long enough. Peace brother? I offer you this teriyaki sauce in the name of peace!"

"You were always the weaker one sister. There shall be peace once more, until we fight again. Thank you for this offering also." *dips finger in sauce and tastes it* "NOOOO! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!!! AGHH!!

"You're calling ME weak!? Dumb ass, it was obviously poisoned! And now you must die. I will finish you off with my giant black dildo from hell!"

"AGH!!!! WHY! IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO END THIS WAY! THE PROPHECY SAID I WAS GOING TO WIN! -- FUCK -- *sighs* But I really should thank you after all. It was your life that taught me the purpose of all life... The purpose of life is to end and tonight... is mine. Goodbye sister!"

Xesetarip began to tear up upon realizing she had actually killed her beloved alien twin. "Izanrelur I'm so sor--"

Bearded Kirby returned from this blog and punched each of the twins in the gut "I'm back mothafuckasssss"

"It appears today is the day I die too, brother. See you in hell!"

"See you in ... hell... mother... fucke...r" Izanrelur said with his last breath.

Kirby inhaled, and the twins found themselves yet again inside his stomach.

"HA pwn'd!" Kirby said as he rinsed their bodies down with a glass of water.

Forced Writing Proficiency + Magic = Who Cares?

My English minor contributes to me getting stoned and writing depressing "poems" that may or may not make sense (written Nov 4):


Why do you do these same things?
Every day you wake up in the same filth
and you check the wristbands and
markings on your arm to know where you were

And its just a haze and you make your coffee
kind of vegetate but you go at it again
because your spine fuzes with your blankets
songs attach themselves to every nerve

Who was that man? He has a girlfriend
and I don't think he likes the way you really look
You don't know me you don't I don't
But you know you missed out.

There are things missing but
its going to be good either way
But your eyes dry up
and the music won't play just right

There are hands so close to yours
But you won't touch them even though
They've reached out and are true
And you know it too which is funny.

But you look at everything as this big
Frozen hole that is the world
and every thought you've ever had
is locked up and unleashed at some point

Every word seems essential
Every mistake, there is some kind of gain
No one cares and no one wants
to see the typed word written out of

Repugnant forms of
tranquility.


-Xesetarip

This file was saved as 'if no one cares do you still write?' to which the answer appears to be 'yes.' My subconscious is astounding sometimes. I like to read what I don't know I've written... if that makes any sense.

Rare Adrenaline, Artificially Produced.

Last night, time ran so slow. It seemed like the longest night ever. It was just nice to be with friends and have the lunch kids do their thing. As usual I was triggered to write something nonsensical:

I miss the days of getting high

and stealing the boys' skateboards

and skate around campus

Making videos that were

funny and

the great 2-12 floor hop

or whatever those numbers were

Numbness of the tongue

what did I eat?

Why did I think of you?

and where do these glorious footsteps come from

that sting the back of my neck

kind of tingly like

There are these subtleties that you don't always see

A man under the curtain taking

snapshots of himself

or who is leering over your shoulder

Constantly constantly

cold cold cold up my arm

and my fucking neck

I don't understand this

This has to stop I'm travelling

Backward upward downward

and if this fucker would get off my shoulder

and my neck!

I titled the document "you should know your shoulder was bothersome".

There was much productivity at this point when I finished majority of my storyboards for my production package. But then I was like... being called. Time could go a bit slower. And then Briar is texting me "adventure! Adventure!" So I went to Shannon's room. Which was magical: 2 candles to light the room, laying on the floor with the lights off, Pink Floyd, and some sort of bran cereal. Jake comes and we all sit. He says "It's 2am, that's ADVENTURE TIME!" so we got up and went outside.

I forgot my glasses. It was madness... we walked to some and something intersection and Jake and Briar saw this place I don't remember the name but it was lit all red and because I didn't have my glasses the light was bleeding everywhere. I saw silhouettes of menacing figures and rundown warehouse buildings and I decided I should not go down this street. Shannon and I turned around to walk away and Briar and Jake left their inhibitions and kept going. These men were gaining on us down the street. We turned the corner and panicked because we didn't know where we were and Briar didn't answer her phone. What the fuck time was it!? So we're wandering down this mystery road but we know we're parallel to Dundas but we don't know which direction.

Briar answers: meet at Adelaide. We can't find Adelaide. Let's find Yonge; it's around and it's safe...er. But I can't see. People are yelling out of their cars. Something happens and we find Yonge and this man charges at us. He is on drugs and he's begging for money. We say no, no, NO but he walks right beside us getting in our face, matching our pace. Super persistent and invading my comfort zone. I came to a dead stop and he walked a few steps before noticing. "NO!" but he keeps touching his head and making incomprehensible noises. A man walks by us in the other direction and the begger attaches himself to him and we run off. We cross the road to keep a distance.

We're five minutes from home and calming down from our panic tripshow. And I see in my peripherals, across the street is the begger. Charging, staring straight ahead; he is walking very, very fast. He is beside us but across the street. We freak out because the only places to turn are sketchy streets; no major ones. We're prepared to walk to a hotel if only we can get to the street!!! We're panicking and then the man stops at Big Slice. To get home, we have to walk in his line of vision. We stare at him and we're freaking out; this man walks passed us and seems to think we're crazy. The begger goes into Big Slice and we go home, hearts racing.

So, 2am is NOT adventure time in downtown Toronto. Especially when you're blind, and lost and trippin' balls. I don't get scared easily at all! It was a bad experience, but kind of fun at the same time. But more so terrifying.

On the other hand, when I woke up this morning, I was wrapped in a very tight cocoon, and I awoke with a smile on my face. I've never been so comfortable.

So friends, always stay with your friends. Particularly if one is muscular, and the other has a knack for talking to anyone (in this example, Jake and Briar). They can save you from aggressive beggers and sketchy figures (or at least give you peace of mind that they can even if they can't).

Happy to be alive,

Xesetarip.

Drain the lake and bring it back to me.

So the weekend is over, but I wish I were still drunk. I don't know why, life just seems to be much more enjoyable while under the influence. You don't have to constantly worry about the stress in your life, school and homework fade away into the background and the sense of having fun arises. All you want to do is party and everyone around is the same way. Monday mornings are boring; it's the start of a new week, all the homework you didn't do on the weekend is about to be due, you're tired, feel like shit and everyone around is the exact same. Why is it that we need these poisons in our bodies to actually enjoy living? Why have we made the world into something that we need to escape? We live most of our lives waiting for the weekend, waiting for holidays. We spend 5 long dragged on days waiting for 2 awesome nights and 2 horrible mornings. Is this what life is about? because I'm sure this is what we've made it. Though I guess I will have people who read this that say they live life to the fullest, okay, if you want to think that, go a head. But with school and work, you never will. Sure you love you're job and what you do, but why do you constantly look at the clock to see when you're on break or get off? You live life to the fullest as much as possible, but most of the time you're still just waiting to do it, instead of just doing it.

This kind of makes me feel that the 60s were actually the best times. No one worked, everyone partied all the time. There was no stress. Everyone lived their life and everyone was having fun. Music was huge, everyone was playing it, listening to it, parting to it. If this were to last though how would life be today? Without people willing to work hard and make the world what it is I don't think we'd last. No advancements in medicine? No thank you, so I guess I'm kinda glad we have people out there working all the time. But do they do it cause they have to? or is it cause they want to?

Why am I even here?
It's like Photoshop for dummies, I haven't paid attention since it started an hour ago, I'm listening to music and writing this + stumbling + MSN. I'm paying for this...

I have urgent advice to give you that my wonderful twin informed me about not more than 5 mins ago. To everyone out there who uses Soap made of fire or soap that is the equivalence of 1 000 °C not to put it in or around your eyes. They will burn really bad, turn red and your contacts will NOT go in! EVER! AGAIN! You will basically die in like 24 minutes.

This will be your eye.






So class is almost over. There is going to be a huge Duel Post this week so make sure you look out for that one.

Izanrelur.

WE ARE AH

Subway Skuzzo, Peeves, and Romeo's Death

You know how there are those little things that annoy you, and it makes you look like a complete douche when you point it out because usually it is something very common and then you offend everyone around you but then if you don't rant about it then it stays in your head and then moves down to your fists and you punch someone/something/everyone/everything/bomb the school/car/house/friend/zoo?

Things like run-on sentences.

There is a new peeve in my brain book of peeves (sorry if your peeve is metaphors, or someone using the word "peeve" 4 times in the same sentence):

I have noticed a huge Facebook trend in people not calling others by their names, but rather by their relationship to that person. Like, "Chillin' with the bestfriend" (BEST and FRIEND are two separate words by the way. Just so you know. I don't know who the fuck decided to glue them together but man that awful trend caught on well too)... or people who say "Dinner with the girlfriend," "Shopping with the parents," "watching TV with the dog," "sleeping with the teacher"--- I DON'T FUCKING KNOW but seriously these people have names! Every time I see that it makes me feel like those people are being objectified; it just seems disrespectful. If anyone called me "the girlfriend" I'd be like "not anymore, pal" *smack*. I think it's more so the fact that "the" is placed behind the noun... because if you said "my girlfriend" it doesn't seem so aggressive. Meh. The writer shall stop on this one.

COOL! On a different topic, I found something interesting the other day on the subway the other day [OH SHIT I'M TALKING IN CIRCULAR SENTENCES AGAIN NOOOO], and I thought I would share my experience. I was on a fairly lengthy journey, and this man gets on and stands across from me. First of all, he's wearing sweatpants. And if you know anything about me, you will know my point of view on wearing sweatpants in public. I know it's disgustingly shallow/superficial/mega dickwad of me but... I can't help it. So Yucky McSweats gets on and he's chillin' all swaggerlicious and then he pulls out this little tin from his pocket. I'm staring at this tin trying to think of what it could be, and then he opens it and pulls out a chunk of this brown shit and I thought to myself there is no fucking way this dirthoe is going to do dip on the subway! Where will he spit! He puts it in his mouth and he looks like a fucking hick or a man with a lip tumour. GAH WHERE WILL HE SPIT EW EW EW! Well he answered my thought, by pulling out a pop can from his backpack with a giant hole in the top. This fellow likely carries this can, swooshing with black saliva in his bag all day. Gross. Anywho, I see him spit into the can... spitting really grosses me out, like, if he was taking a shit in the corner I'd be less grossed out... but I couldn't stop watching. It was like, omg this is so fucking nasty yet I don't want to look away! Now, either he was actually a mind reader and heard what I was thinking about his sweatpants, or he saw me transfixed on his every move, because he kinda glanced at me and then turned his back to me. Oh well.

OH I just remembered I saw another interesting thing, like, yesterday. There was a dead pigeon outside of my building. It was still in tact but just chillin' there dead. I felt sad about the pigeon, and I thought "I wonder what this pigeon did for society? How did he effect peoples' lives?" And then I snapped out of my reflecting when I realized it's a fucking pigeon and all they do is shit on stuff and fly way too low (one hit me in the head once ... *not impressed*). Dead things are interesting. Why should I feel remorse for a dead pigeon? I guess I shouldn't. But there is something about every life that has value; even a disease infested, shit bombing, low flying, food stealing, villainous pigeon.

Hypothetically, what if the dead pigeon- let's call him Romeo- was doing his normal shit disturbing at Nathan Phillips Square, when he stole a woman's hat off her head. This brawny onlooker saw the injustice, and chased after the pigeon, managing to swat the hat away (don't worry, Romeo was unharmed). So the muscle man gives the hat woman her chapeau back (despite the diseases it is likely now carrying) and they go out for lunch and get married and have little muscular, hat-wearing children who will collectively cure cancer one day. SO YOU SEE, children, Romeo the pigeon could have done something magical for the world. Likely not. But still. It sounds nice doesn't it?

RIP Romeo, you [may have but probably not] done us well.
-Xesetarip

The shit I do from 8-2 on Monday morning.

I have school from 8-5 on Mondays, but I really only do anything in my History of Games class which is 2-5. For the other 6 hours out of the day I'm on Facebook and MSN but most of my time is taken up by YouTube and StumbleUpon, so I'm going to take the time to re-post anything interesting I find.

This class is so dumb, it's basically Photoshop for dummies, I don't need this shit. We're learning how to select stuff at the moment, I'm pretty sure this is something you learn in like grade 10 when first starting Photoshop, actually it's something you teach your self. This is so stupid, thank God for the internet...back to stumble.

Since I'm in Game Dev I feel I shall add this picture, that and it's a really bomb shirt! Mario Kart is fucking awesome.

OH now it's the clone tool! WTF! I'm pretty sure to get in this course you needed to be good at digital art! How are there people here who need to learn this?

ps. Camille's eyes are Cement and my balls are cotton candy.

So simple but so awesome

Okay so it's getting to the point in my day where it actually starts, and I have something to do. So I guess I will talk to you guys next week, or if anything interesting comes up this we'll I'll make sure to tell you all.

Ps. We have a special duo post coming at the end of this month....it's gunna be great.

<3izanrelur>