On Pussy

Izanrelur wanted to write a blog. He had it already written. But being his lazy ass motherfucking self he didn't want to post it because he wanted poutine instead. So Xesetarip volunteered, and this is what he said about that:

"it would make my writing sound super awesome
pussy would be flying at my face
they'd be like slugs crawling up the wall and ceiling and falling on my head
You could basically say I'd be swimming in a pile of them
maybe wear two as a pair of shoes
it would be like fall, like a pile of leaves, i'd run and jump into them
holy fuck its gunna be awesome
i'll have so much left over pussy my grandkids we'll be fucking them"

Apparently Xesetarip has really, really good writing. Like, vag catnip or something. So this is what he wanted to post:

There are 3 things every woman must know to be the perfect girl:

1. The Kitchen! Learn everything about it!, Where everything is, what everything does, how to measure without utensils, and learn learn learn how to multi-task without burnage!

2. Cleaning! Make sure everything is spotless always! Never a stain rug, never a dirty washroom, never a messy tv room, never EVER dust on ANYTHING!

3. Sex! Master it, not for you, but for him! Lets get this out of the way now, no he doesn't care if you get an orgasm and he never will! BJs, HJs, Sex in general must be mastered ...when you're done with him, he'll fall asleep and you can use your toy.

Not only is this a list you should live by but this is a list that ever man on earth judges you with, so make sure you master the 3 things: Cooking, cleaning and sexing.

.....haha, I'm just playing ladies, you know I love you.

....... a lot.

So, that's... ahem... nice. And this a little anecdote he wrote about his lovely twin sister:

Pooooor Camille

Was always a good cleaner, mediocre fuck, but couldn't cook her way out of a cardboard box and all she got was a 4-incher, 4-ever.

So Xesetarip, in need of wrapping up the blog, asked Izanrelur to sum it up. He said:

Women are stupid and I don't respect them
That's right, I just have sex with them

It's an entertaining song, but he could try being original... upon suggesting this, he said:

They nag!
All
The
Time

Perhaps he should just admit he's gay already... He did say, and I quote, "I'm not good with this whole female thing man"

Sincerely,
Xesetarip (writing on behalf of her gay alien super twin)